Saturday 25 June 2011

Meath vs Louth

18:45   Welcome to the GAA championship diary. Joining us on the couch for today’s match is a large packet of Tesco cashew nuts and a couple of cans of discount Polish beer. Perfect.

18:48   Must resist temptation to make ‘wascally wabbit’ joke during Peter Fitzpatrick’s pre-match interview.
Seamus McEneaney, a man not unaccustomed to playing players out of position, announces that Shane O’Rourke will play at midfield.

18:52  Michael Lyster is looking dapper today in some kind of ‘70s throwback blue suit. The same, however, cannot be said of touchline reporter Marty Morrisey, dressed in a style I would describe as ‘Priest casual’. He also has a face like a boxer being punched in super-slow motion, but that can’t be helped.

18:55   Pat Spillane slyly hints that emigrated Kerrymen were a big factor in London’s historic win over Fermanagh today. Selfless as always.

18:56 Some of Louth’s players look knackered after running out onto the pitch. This does not bode well.

18:57 Canning (GC) announces purposefully that this is ‘Louth vs Meath, the sequel’.

19:00 GC hurriedly tries to tell us that Caoimhin King is a late change for Meath but cannot avoid talking over the start of the National Anthem. I love it when that happens.

Anthony Davis (AD) starts what I assume will be another nonsense filled co-commentary slot by telling us that modern players can play anywhere.

19:02 Peter Fitzpatrick is a TD. Is there anyone in Louth who didn’t vote for him in sympathy after last year’s Leinster final robbery? I bet he couldn’t believe his luck.

19:06 GC tells us that Peter Fitzpatrick will try to make hay as best he can on a blustery night. This confuses me the more I think about it.

Meath 0-0
Louth  0-3

19:07 Louth have started well and are on top in midfield in the opening minutes.

19:09 Meath forwards seem to be unaware of the one point option in Gaelic Games.
Going for goal at every opportunity and forcing it a bit.
Midfield might suit Shane O’Rourke, he’s getting a lot of time on the ball and is a quality footballer. He can even solo with his bad leg when nobody’s near him.

19:12 Graham Reilly looks like a poor man’s Paul Galvin. I wonder does he rock up to the dressing room wearing stuff that is soooo last year?

19:15 Taking advantage of what looked like a heart attack for the Louth full back, Cian Ward coolly finishes to the back of the net.
Meath 1-1
Louth 0-3

19:17 Meath’s rotund backroom team would not look out of place having their selectors meeting outside Satriani’s chomping on cigars.

19:20 Louth’s Adrian Reid shoots 30 yards wide from a terrible angle.
          GC: ‘He didn’t allow for the breeze’.

19:21 Lovely score by Shane O’Rourke, selling the dummy and slotting.

19:22 Joe Sheridan runs like a man hindered by a heavy pair of Wellingtons.

19:23 A mini game of soccer breaks out in the Louth half back line. There is always someone who keeps this going one touch too long instead of picking the ball up. Soccer is contagious.

19:24 Another beaut from AD: ‘Anyone who came here expecting a bloodbath will be disapppointed’. Just you then Tony.

Meath 1-2
Louth 0-4

19:25 Meath’s play at the moment is fairly predictable – Joe Sheridan lumps it vaguely goalward, the ball breaks to a Meath player who goes for goal when a point is the better option.

19:28 Goal for Louth! A long ball into the Meath full back line causes all sorts of problems and Clarke finishes well. More of this please. Full backs don’t get put under half enough pressure in the modern game. Fast direct ball exposes them before they can get the protection of the collapsing half back line.

19:29 Joe Sheridan steps outside his 20 metre shooting range and blazes wide.

19:30 Another goal for Cian Ward, beautifully executed but the Louth corner back is so slow he can’t even get close enough to try and foul him.

19:33 Said corner back is taken off by Peter Fitzpatrick. GC seems genuinely shocked.
Meath 2-4
Louth 1-4

19:34 GC has mentioned the wind five times in the last two minutes like it’s some kind of natural disaster that we’ve never heard of before. Ireland is a fairly windy country Ger, we’re used to it.

19:35 GC tells us that Meath’s Shane McInerney is built like a ton. (Actually he didn’t specify metric or imperial, but the point stands)

Half time
Meath 2-4
Louth 1-4

The star of the first half, the wind, gets a quick mention before the break.

Pat Spillane ‘Louth will have an uphill struggle against the wind’
That hardly seems fair.
Kevin McStay is a decent enough analyst really as long as he’s kept away from doing Kerry games.
 The Gooch/Donaghy lovefest can be a little overwhelming to the uninitiated.

19:55 Second half begins. Louth have very very little pace in their forwards.

20:00 Cian Ward foolishly goes for a point from 40 yards out. The goal was on.
Shane O’Rourke is quietly dominating this game from the middle of the field.
Where is Paddy Keenan?

20:04 Why does the ref need to stop the game and run over to the linesman for a chat?
What is the point of those fancy headsets?  Part-time call centre job?

20:05 AD tells us that Ward has frightening pace. This is contrary to Spillane’s assertion at half time that he has no pace at all.  I wonder is he as slow as Francie Bellew? (sorry, couldn’t resist.)

20:12 Another aimless pass from Joe Sheridan. I make that 6.

20:13 Seriously, how many players in recent memory have been consistently accurate shooting with the outside of the foot? I’m going to go with:
  1. Maurice Fitz
  2. Ciaran McDonald
  3. Brian Dooher
And that’s about it. Shot selection is crucial in Gaelic Football. Look at Donncha O’Connor –at some point last year he realised the left-footed curler from the sideline was a bad option and immediately became a better player.

20:14 Another goal for Ward! He was almost celebrating before he took the pass.

20:17 Goal number 4 for Ward, lovely finish, great set-up from O’Rourke, pulling the strings at midfield. Ward immediately goes down with cramp. In fairness it is probably his 10th attempt on goal today.
Meath 4-07
Louth 1-05

20:18 For those unfamiliar with how the championship works, GC informs us for the umpteenth time tonight that ‘the winner takes all in this match’.

58 minutes in, Paddy Keenan gets his second touch of the game.
GC: ‘He’ll never give up’.

20:24 Professor Anthony Davis: ‘sometimes they have pedometers on players to see how far they run, I’d say he’s after running miles and miles and miles’

20:27 Rapidly losing interest in this one. Ward goes off with 4-3 to his name. Probably worth his place in the previous round against Kildare but I’m sure Banty knows what he’s doing…
20:33 Meath manage another quick goal before the final whistle.
Final Score
Meath 5-08
Louth 2-08.

GC just has time to tell us that Meath’s worst player on the night, Joe Sheridan, ‘played well throughout’.

Meath wouldn’t trouble Cork or Kerry but would give most other teams a right good rattle. Midfield seems like the ideal position for Shane O’Rourke and the more Meath can get him on the ball the better.
I think the top teams are a level above them in terms of conditioning and athleticism but they are a goalscoring threat and dangerous on their day.

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