(Note: I am sitting down to write this two days after the event, having re-watched the match on RTE's incredibly unreliable match replayer thingy. I was far too bitter and sunburnt to comment on Sunday)
A scorching summer's day in Killarney as the most anticipated match of the championship so far is about to begin.
Can Cork win their first championship match in Killarney since 1995?
Can Kerry paper over the cracks and somehow get enough ball into their full-forward line?
Does either team really care about winning this one? (I mean, they care, but do they
really care? One extra game and a week less rest for the loser isn't exactly the end of the world)
Our commentary team for this one is unrepentent Kerry supporter Marty Morrissey and Martin 'no malice in it whatsoever' Carney, both of whom like nothing better than a good Gooch arse licking (sounds disgusting to me).
Looks like it's nicely set up for another afternoon of shaking my fist at the computer screen.
So, here we go!
Kieran Donaghy moves to midfield for the throw-in, Cork to play with the breeze in the first half.
Marty has already started with the 'Star' and 'Gooch' nonsense. Is this really professional behaviour?
Would it happen in any other sport?
There are probably 3 or 4 players on every intercounty team with nicknames, why are these the only two we hear about?
I mean, you would hear the odd time 'Diarmuid O'Sullivan, the man they call The Rock' or something like that, but Marty never ever uses Cooper's and Donaghy's real names in commentary.
It reminds me of the pathetic over-familiarity of a boyband groupie referring to her idols.
Marty Morrissey is a Kerry groupie!
(Cue mental image of a scantily clad Marty hanging around eagerly outside the Kerry dressing room after the match. *shudder*)
2 mins Great save by Kealy to deny a certain goal for Paul Kerrigan. He really should have scored however.
4 mins Jamie O'Sullivan foolishly shoulders Declan O'Sullivan late after he had shot wide. Free in to Kerry.
Martin Carney (MC) calls for a yellow card. That would be incredibly harsh.
5 mins Kieran O'Leary rugby tackles Michael Shields to the ground as he advances with the ball.
7 mins Alan O'Connor has not started well, poor use of possession and has lost track of Bryan Sheahan a couple of times.
Kieran O'Leary's second rugby tackle of the game, this time on Canty, merits a scolding from referee David Coldrick.
It would be an interesting sport if there was a blanket enforcement of the 'three rugby tackles and you're booked' rule.
9 mins Graham Canty makes an inspirational dispossession of Kieran Donaghy and goes on a headlong charge up the field.
He probably gets a little carried away and is met with a hefty shoulder by Anthony Maher.
Kerry regain possession and Jamie O'Sullivan is forced to pick up Donaghy as Canty makes his way gingerly back.
Easy score for Donaghy.
Kerry 0-02
Cork 0-00
11 mins Points for Colm Cooper and Declan O'Sullivan as Bryan Sheahan seems to have the freedom of Fitzgerald Stadium.
Kerry 0-04
Cork 0-00
12 mins Good score by Daniel Goulding, taking a nice early pass from Ciaran Sheehan.
12 mins Outrageous point by Donncha O'Connor!
On the turn he kicks over from near the right hand touchline.
The crowd love it, my immediate reaction is 'good score, now don't ever try that again!'
Kerry 0-04
Cork 0-02
14 mins Goal for Kerry! Bryan Sheahan carries the ball fully 50 metres down the middle before any Cork player decides to come and meet him. Paudie Kissane is ball-watching as he gives a lovely handpass to the onrushing Darren O'Sullivan, who blazes a trail goalward and lashes an unstoppable shot into the roof of the net. Great finish.
15 mins Almost a carbon copy of the goal as Alan Quirke denies O'Sullivan a second. Vital save as Kerry are threatening to run rampant. Graham Canty looks off the pace and is really struggling.
Kerry 1-04
Cork 0-02
20 mins Ciaran Sheehan shows his strength to push Aidan O'Mahony aside and fire over.
There is a hint of disappointment in Marty's voice as he reluctantly acknowledges the score.
21 mins David Coldrick awards a free out to Kerry after a high ball in around the goalmouth is punched away by Brendan Kealy. Lazy officiating, the kind you expect from a 20 stone Junior B referee who moves slowly between the 65s and awards a square ball whenever a high delivery lands near the goal, simply because he can't make out what's going on.
25 mins Paddy Kelly kicks a point and from the resultant kickout Kealy goes short to Aidan O'Mahony. It's an awkward ball to deal with and O'Mahony, under pressure from Ciaran Sheehan, fumbles and throws himself on the ground looking for a free.
Coldrick obligingly bails him out as Sheehan was clean through and heading for goal.
28 mins Two points in quick succession by Declan O'Sullivan who is giving Canty a torrid time at full back. Cork's strategy of short kickouts is backfiring thus far.
31 mins Paul Kerrigan is deemed to have overcarried as he ran goalward, with Enright, his marker, tugging at his sleeve.
Very harsh decision considering the overcarrying rule hasn't been strictly enforced to this point.
MC's comment: the referee was in a good position and is perfectly entitled to make that call.
Harldy a ringing endorsement.
The massively overweight umpire manning the green flag gets his first exercise of the day as he walks to the middle of the goal to cross flags and cancel the point. On the way back to his post he receives some helpful dietary advice from the large Cork contingent behind him..
32 mins A terrible pass by Paudie Kissane leads to a score for Kieran O'Leary. Cork have been very sloppy in possession.
35 mins MM does his once-per-game massive overreaction to a run-of-the-mill passage of play as Declan O'Sullivan taps the ball over the bar from 21 yards. 'Look at this again, CLASS!'.
Half Time
Kerry 1-10
Cork 0-05
This is the freewheeling and freeflowing Kerry football you get when you allow them time and space in the middle third. Twice Bryan Sheahan has soloed 50 metres forward unoppposed. Graham Canty and Jamie O'Sullivan are struggling, and Cork's kickout strategy has been an abject failure. Not a good start.
Eoin Cotter replaces Jamie O'Sullivan to start the second half.
36 mins Declan O'Sullivan will not be denied today. From the restart he takes a pass out by the touchline, takes on John Miskella and kick a fine score.
Very soft free for Pearse O'Neill as he runs straight into Eoin Brosnan and crumples in a heap. The refereeing today has been extremely inconsistent.
37 mins Two quick scores for Daniel Goulding make it Kerry 1-11 Cork 0-7.
39 mins The Donaghy Incident!
Noel O'Leary and Kieran Donaghy become entangled a few yards away from the ball. With referee Coldrick looking straight at the pair, Donaghy lashes out with his foot and catches O'Leary around the knee with his studs. A red card offence, plain and simple.
MM and MC both acknowledge the stamp and maintain it warrants no more than yellow, a bizarre interpretation of the rules.
Coldrick, for some reason, consults with his linesman who had a far worse view of the incident and awards a yellow card.
Another copout by the referee. He gets a pat on the back from Donaghy and the game continues.
Ciaran Sheehan is stretchered off and looks to be in some distress. On comes Fintan Goold.
45 mins Points by Donncha Walsh and Bryan Sheehan give Kerry a nine point lead.
Kerry 1-13
Cork 0-07
49 mins The Donaghy Incident seems to have sparked Cork into life. They are tackling hard and putting Kerry's ball carriers under immense pressure. The supply to the full forward line has been almost completely cut off.
50 mins Paul Kerrigan's direct running is causing havoc in the Kerry defence. He has scored Cork's last two points.
Kerrymen are dropping like flies around the pitch in an attempt to break the Cork momentum. Darren O'Sullivan needs what looks like a mini physical therapy session near the Kerry dugout after an innocuous challenge. The crowd wait with bated breath. Will he walk again? The answer is...YES! He does the customary limp for 3 or 4 strides then decides enough is enough and runs freely back into position.
55 mins Alan Quirke has started to kick the ball out long and Cork are winning most of the breaks.
Paul Kerrigan takes a handpass on the burst, rides the challenge of Micheal Quirke and fires goalward. The ball is handled on the ground in the small square by Marc Ó Sé and Coldrick rightly (and surprisingly) awards a penalty.
Donncha O'Connor makes no mistake from the spot, firing low to Kealy's left. Game on!
Kerry 1-13
Cork 1-10
57 mins Alan O'Connor charges through on goal and is content to take a point. If it was anyone else in possession I would be screaming at them to go for goal but in this instance I am more than happy with a point.
Pearse O'Neill and O'Connor have really taken the game by the scruff of the neck at midfield in the last 15 minutes.
60 mins Cork move to within a point as Kerrigan scores again. Kerry are visibly tiring now.
62 mins MC gets his first 'no malice at all intended' of the day under his belt as Micheal Quirke tries to twist off Alan O'Connor's head.
63 mins A bad wide by Aidan Walsh under severe pressure from the Kerry defence. Shooting was not the best option.
66 mins Alan O'Connor breaks through the defence again and offloads to John Miskella who shoots for goal buts hits the post and the ball goes wide. That was Cork's chance.
71 mins Forceful run forward by Eoin Brosnan and he fists over the bar. That could be the winning score.
Kerry 1-14
Cork 1-12
Another controversial incident near the sideline - Colm Cooper gets involved needlessly with Cork substitute Denis O'Sullivan. The pair fall to the ground before Cooper straddles him and pushes down on his throat with a forearm. Unpleasant and nasty looking business. Welcome to the Munster Championship!
The linesman (no more than ten yards away) and referee consult and decide the best course of events is to dish out yellow cards to both choker and chokee. Pretty much sums up David Coldrick's refereeing performance today.
The incident eats up a minute and a half of injury time which is not accounted for because of the unwritten GAA rule that there can be no stoppages in added time.
74 mins Daniel Goulding misses with a long range free and it's all over, Kerry win by three.
Kerry 1-15
Cork 1-12
A strange sort of game that neither team will be happy with.
Cork had their usual string of tactical blunders in the first half and dug a big hole for themselves, before haphazardly stumbling upon their best fifteen early in the second half. The slow start and general malaise of the first half will be a big worry but when they began to turn the screw Kerry went 27 minutes in the second half without a score.
Kerry started in whirlwind fashion and Jack O'Connor's gameplan caused huge confusion in Cork defence for half an hour.
Their midfield was suprisingly dominant in the first half and forced Cork to rethink their kickout strategy.
The second half will be a worry though, as Cork took a stranglehold on proceedings and could well have secured at least a draw.
Both teams move on and there is almost a sense of inevitability about the likelihood of a rematch in Croke Park later in the summer.
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